Escape Routes

I know I went to the Art Institute last week....but I think I'm going to need to go again....soon.
It's such a great place to be alone with your thoughts and see works by artists who shared similar feelings. It makes you feel not so alone in this universe. After taking two semesters of Art History this year, I've gained an immense appreciation for art that I have never before had. Something just clicked in me this year and I find that the concepts, emotions, messages in the works popping out clearly now when before I had trouble seeing them. I think it was there all along, but I just needed a push in the right direction.

What I am Not Doing Right Now

I am not writing my final paper for Styles and Crafts.
I am not working on my light plot.
I am not doing my readings for Art History.
I am not on the phone.
I am not playing Nintendo.
I am not watching TV.
I am not eating.
I am not sleeping.
I am not listening to music.
I am not on Facebook.
I am not texting.
I am not reading a book of any kind.
I am not outside.
I am not doing anything really.
.....except for this.....
I have to say that today after the Art Museum and reading for Meteorology and working on my final paper for an hour....apathy has overtaken me.

I SHOULD work on all those assignments.
But it's probably not going to happen until tomorrow, or at least until I get motivated.
Today motivation escaped me.
I don't feel like doing anything....just laying here.

Maybe I'll....

Sorry for not posting in so long.
Not like anyone really reads this anyways.

But, I am having a crisis of sorts.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life....
I have one year of school left (it's official, we figured it out and if all goes well I will graduate on time)
But the gist is that I went to school for what I loved and wanted to know more about....and now I'm feeling like I might no longer have a future....that I just might end up working at the bank forever...because the unfortunate truth is that unless I catch a lucky break, my field does not pay much...at all.

I was offered a job in my field for this summer that I had to decline due to the low pay and the fact that I need more money than that if I'm going to pay rent next year.
So I go back to the bank.

Maybe it's too early for me to be freaking out....maybe I'm freaking out about nothing.

At least there is career counseling here unlike at my former school, so maybe I have some chance.

I just don't know.

And that's what bothers me the most.